I need your opinion, anyone please.

It’s been over 3 years and 9 months and Im still in love with my ex, my first love who I can say is someone I could call my THE ONE WHO GOT AWAY.

Ever since then I havent been into any relationship, or rather I refuse to be in one because I’m afraid of commitment and trust and getting hurt and all that shizz.

Do you think I still love him? Or just in love with the thought of what we had?
I really want to move on from him, but afraid to go find love again.