They all suck.
The problem is that people have expectations. For the longest time I used to think that I had none when it came to dating, that I would take any girl. And here I go, rejecting girls because I don’t like their looks, or because I find them shallow. Does that make me a bad person? Maybe a little, but I am just not attracted to them. This is not the problem. The problem is that compared to what I expect of a potential girlfriend I have very little to offer. Don’t get me wrong, I am not the worst or ugliest or dumbest person ever. But the girls I would like to date have really no reason to date me.
How does this all relate to online dating? I guess it doesn’t, but hey, this is a rant, don’t complain. (Or write your own rant.)
So yeah, dating sites. I spent my past 4 years on them (minus about a year when I was in a relationship). Here’s my opinion of those that I tried. Which one should you try? If you’re an at least average looking woman or a great looking man, then (wait, why are you online dating then? No, it won’t help you find a “more compatible” partner) just do Tinder. Even if you’re looking for something more serious. Seriously, you get a quick glance of who’s interested in you (spoiler: everyone) and then you can choose who to meet. That said, for the rest of us, there is:
– OkCupid: I think this is the best one. I quit because it became too frustrating not to get any replies from women I was actually interested in. Also it’s too easy to pour all your time into it. It also has the best pool to choose from (at least for me). Most of the dates in my life are thanks to this site, my only serious girlfriend is from here, and 3 out of 5 girls I’ve been sexually intimate with in my life are from here. Don’t go for the paid version though, if you want to pour in money, just “boost” yourself.
– Plenty of Fish: bottom of the barrel, nuff said.
– Match: met some people with potential from here, but altogether the site itself doesn’t make it easier. It’s full of glitches and they tried to scam me. (Not someone from the site, the site itself.) Not worth the money.
– Chemistry: full of scammers, nobody replies to the icebreakers, and one of my most boring dates is from here. Waste of money, waste of time.
– Zoosk: I think I got one or two replies on the site, never met anyone from here. The biggest waste of money and time of all these pieces of shits.
– HowAboutWe: I don’t have a high opinion of this, but to be honest I was active on this site maybe for a week.
– eHarmony: pricy, but still full of bugs. Their advanced matchmaking stuff is a complete fabrication (actually that’s true to all of these. Don’t believe for a second in their fancy algorithms.) I love how after 4 months they started to recommend girls from two states away, when I had my preferences set to 50 miles…
– Tinder: probably great if you’re younger than 25 and are good looking. Almost had a date from here once but then she chickened out.
– Bumble: loved the concept (same as Tinder, except women have to message first) until I actually tried it and found that most women rather unmatch me than send a message.
Which ties into my theory that online dating is really just an act of compensation. At least it definitely is one for me (and an addiction, I’m starting to realize). I love the idea that I can work towards my goal (being in a loving relationship) but actually the action I’m taking doesn’t take me that much closer to the goal (well actually there is a big gap between “no online dating at all” and “a small amount of online dating”, because I don’t know any alternatives to meet single women, but the value quickly diminishes as you go into the realm of “lots of online dating”).