The place to rant

A place to let off some steam

Are you really my friend?

So I’ve had this girl that i’ve considered my best friend for a few years now and I love her, but sometimes she can get to me.
Since the start of our friendship, i could tell that she was the type to get what she wanted. For example, I was always that chick who missed classes and never went to school and every time i did that she would send me extremely long messages ranting about how i always leave her by herself and don’t care for her.
Mind you, the only reason why i’m ranting here to begin with is because all everyone i know loves her so I can’t talk to anyone that I know about this problem. She isn’t a loner, she literally talks to everyone and it’s not like we couldn’t text each other. She is very responsible, although at times immature (and i love her for it anyway!). She has been the person that has given me advice when I have problems or mad me happy during my bad days. (even though she causes my bad days sometimes but she makes up for it when her mood changes)
Throughout our whole friendship I’ve never really felt super comfortable with her at all times. She has crazy mood swings (one day she would be all cuddly, the next she would give me glares and not talk to me at all) I never really knew what to talk to her about since i never knew what mood she would be on, I always had to test the waters first and i just felt like I wasn’t even allowed to be myself around her anymore because for every mistake i make, she judges me, she makes me feel incompetent at school (I get it you’re smart and I’m not) and when i’m sober, she is normally the one to ditch me for someone else.
Anyway, that isn’t why I need to rant. last night we (our whole friend group) went to a party with everyone from our year. It being our graduation party, I wanted to talk to everyone else considering i would never see them again, I also wanted to talk to the people that i haven’t talked to at all and have always wanted to talk to b/c I had nothing to lose.
I have to admit, I was drunk and was friendlier to the people I don’t normally associate with. I was having fun. The morning after however, I get a message from her saying how disappointed she was with me and how much i flirted with all the guys. I only talked to them, most guys I talked to I was trying to set up with my other friends. I didn’t make out or sleep with anyone. I gave out hugs but that was only because they were all crying (post graduation depression). I felt so crossed that she had a nerve to basically call me a slut, telling me that i was all over every guy at the party (I can specifically remember every guy that I talked to there was only a few of them, one was because i accidentally punched him in the balls and i had to apologise) when she was the type of person to change boyfriends every single bloody month because she just “got sick of them”. She told me she was annoyed because I ditched her at the party when really, I was the one who felt ditched. I was drunk, yet she didn’t even offer assistance, instead she just sat in the corner and everytime I came closer she just gave me a disgusted look I tried to hang out with her at one point but she told me to go away (her reasoning was because she got annoyed that i ditched her in the first place). Just for one night i felt like being free from all my worries but apparently i can’t do that. i just don’t think I can deal with all the criticism she throws my way for every wrong thing that I do, expect me to basically live under her shadows while she gets comfort from us whenever she fails or does something wrong. I commend her for being the type of person who says whatever she is thinking but i don’t think she realises how hurtful those things are to some people. We are best friends, I talk to her loads, We go out everywhere but i don’t get why I’m the only one she treats like this. Why I’m the only one she belittles. There’s this other girl in our friend group that she isn’t that fond of but she never says anything mean to or about her? i just feel so done with living my life in constant caution but she is a great girl and I’m scared of losing a friendship. I don’t know what to do?

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1 Comment

  1. Anonymous

    Get rid of her, she seems like a right bitch, if she can’t be nice to you then she doesn’t deserve you! You were drunk, you had no idea what you were doing, and she still had the nerve to call you a slut! If I were you, she’d be gone in the blink of an eye.

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The place to rant