The place to rant

A place to let off some steam

Arghhh used or loved?

Right I’m royally fed up! Listen please- and for the love of GOD tell me if I’m wrong.

I have four beautiful children, who are… Sometimes if not a lot of the time- hard work! Aren’t all kids? Anyway… Moving on.

4 years ago, to this day I met a man (I’m divorced from the children’s father btw, and they all have the same one- to clear that up). Ok as I was saying, met this man. He seemed nice, charming and relaxed.

Great! I thought.

4 years on… I work full time. I pay for pretty much everything, including his 2 children who stay some weekends. I’ve asked this guy if he’d like to move in, maybe even marry one day.

I love many aspects of our relationship, we laugh about the same silly stuff. My youngest daughter adores him. We do similar sports.

However! He totally puts me down in raising my children. His views and reality are so different to mine. And yes, I’m fed up with paying all the time :(.

The other day he said “I can’t see me moving in with you!” Because I challenged the fact he does NOTHING around my house. He doesn’t cook, wash up, make the bed- Nadda. Yet has a go at me for not making the kids do more?!

Yes I get his taking on 4 kids- I get that totally. But I DO NOT need financial help. In fact if he moves in, I’ll be supporting him and his two on the weekends he has them.

I keep making up excuses…

I pay all the time because he copes with me having four children. I give up everything for him, because I love him.

Hate to quote, but

Good ol Tina “What’s love gotta do with it?”

Want to try and be unbias here. He’s not used to 4 children. He’s lived without his two for 7 years.

But I never hid the fact I had 4. And I do MORE than my share. Breakfast in bed- Great Sunday roast (I’m a fab cook) And I won’t be modest about it. Look after his kids when he’s off doing stuff.

I’m not exactly a bad looking lass either.

So please tell me I’m doing something wrong! Do I just have too much baggage?

Feel totally fed up. 🙁

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3 Comments

  1. Anonymous

    My opinion is thus: stop dating him. He is clearly not the man you want to marry. You need someone who will work with you not against you. You need a partner, a teammate if you will. He doesn’t have to be the main source of income for your home, but he does need to contribute.
    I’d run, hunny.

  2. Anonymous

    Tim,,4 years as a friend isn’t enough? This guy sounds lazy to me if if he won’t lift a finger to help alittle around the house. And her children are her own, not his by birth. 4 kids are a lot for a guy to face and they should each have chores around the home with an allowance given to show them the value of money. Kids watch entirely too much “anti-adult” crap on TV and that should be nipped in the bud. Reality shows and most dramas are poorly written dreck designed to distance ourselves from what’s best for the common good of our nation, instead of what’s good for me, me, me..!! There’s poisons in our food and drink packaging. Prescriptions are shoddily made to keep us at low levels of sickness as to be dependent on the big pharmacy companies. You have to be a very smart cookoie to raise kids today.

  3. Tim

    I’m no expert, nor am I good with social interaction (talking to people, I’m also a Functioning Autistic Spectrum) and because I say things exactly as I see them, even when I unwittingly offend people while thinking it was a normal response, here’s mine… He is right about not moving in with you, but he is also not a user. This story sounds like a better friendship than a relationship. You seem like an awesome person, but maybe too eager for a relationship. You are better friends than anything. PS: I also took child psychology, but not general, so some of my opinion is based on textbooks, not to be taken professionally.

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The place to rant