I’m tired of always feeling good, then being let down right after. No one likes me and I know it. I’m always feeeling excluded from people at school, and no boys ever talk to me, so I’m obviously not pretty. I try so hard to fit in and sometimes it makes me happy that I’m trying, but when I get happy, my mom takes it away from me. Hair makes me happy. Makeup makes me confident. That’s just who I am. And every time one little thing isn’t the way she planned, she takes those things away from me. She usually tells me how much of a disappointment I am and then compares me to my little sister. I hate that. But I know it’s because she lets off her anger on me sometimes, even tho it’s not fair. I wish my dad lived closer. I wish my parents never broke up when I was 8. I wish I never moved to Tennessee where I was the only black girl with the exception of few blacks per class. I wish I could b happy.. I feel like no one would miss me if I left the earth. And honestly, I feel that’s true. But I’m at the point of being so numb and my self esteem so low from contasntly being put down, that I just don’t see the need for living anymore. Could I die in my sleep? Take a pill? Bullet to the brain? Don’t know. But I do know that life isn’t very hard and depressing and that I just want To rum away and b happy with the things I love most. I hate going to school. I hate feeling anxiety every time I walk into a class or have to turn in a paper