So I grew up with 3 sisters and right from the start you’d knew there’d be some ugly shit going on. Then since iiiiii am the problematic kid (aka when my parents try to bring me down I say things like “well sorry dad, but whether you believe it or not, this is my very best”, or some shit, ever since I was around 10. But now at 16, it’s like my parents always try to FIND the things that are wrong with me. Even if the things my siblings do are more wrong, I’m Alabama the one taking all the scream and the “bullying”. Because we can call it that. Somethings is not okay with my dad, and he’ll throw things at us(me) and scream stuff at us. The screaming thing has gotten to a point where I’ve been in such dark places since 3 years now, and I just wanna fucking die everytime they tell me I’m not good enough, that I can do so much better, that the screaming is for my help… And of course, me screaming over them doesn’t help, and I feel so bad after it. Did you know that one time, my mom forced the counsellor to tell her what I said to him, and my mom used all the stuff I said to turn it against me, and started saying things like “ no wonder you wanna kill yourself” or “no wonder you don’t have any friends”, that you are alone, etc. And now I can’t tell her that I wanna fucking deal with all the screaming anymore, from her, my dad, my sisters, telling me to stop screaming over them, and OH MY FUCKING GOD I JUST REALLY FUCKING WANT IT TO STOPPP