The place to rant

A place to let off some steam

fathers sympathy for a user slut went too far

dear racheal

Lifeline0574End conversation
Info at 19:23, May 25:
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Info at 19:25, May 25:
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Info at 19:32, May 25:
You are now chatting with Lifeline.
Lifeline0574 at 19:32, May 25:
Welcome to Lifeline’s Crisis Support Chat service. What has been going on for you this evening?
fendi at 19:34, May 25:
hi there.
Lifeline0574 at 19:34, May 25:
Hi
Lifeline0574 at 19:34, May 25:
How’re you tonight?
fendi at 19:35, May 25:
my dad is throwing china plates around while he washes up and I tell him to do it with less glanging noise and some care for the china and then he accuses me of bullying him. he has so much anger in him
fendi at 19:37, May 25:
if hates doing it I tell him leave it and don’t do it because I am sick of all the plates and cups and glasses etc he has broken. can you understand why the noise and yelling and his resentment about doing any work in the house is upsetting? we all do some, I wash up some nights he does it other nights or another person there are a few in the house so we take turns but that is not good enough for him.
Lifeline0574 at 19:38, May 25:
It sounds like your dad can really frustrate you sometimes. I think I can definitely understand what you mean.
Lifeline0574 at 19:40, May 25:
Tell me more about the thoughts and feelings that have been coming up for you tonight?
Lifeline0574 at 19:42, May 25:
Hello. Are you still there?
Lifeline0574 at 19:42, May 25:
I’m happy to wait for you for a bit if something has taken your attention away for the moment.
fendi at 19:42, May 25:
yeh
fendi at 19:44, May 25:
i am just so hurt and angry that every chance he gets he complains about cleaning up after himself as if he expects a maid or butler and valet to run after him. its an insult. the way he eats food and spits it out to the point me and my mum don’t want to eat with him. then if either of me or my mum complain we are bullying poor mr perfect little boy jonnymundy.
Lifeline0574 at 19:47, May 25:
It sounds like you can feel really angry towards him but at the same time you may often feel that you can’t express that anger to…as you said…”mr perfect…”. What’s that like for you?
fendi at 19:50, May 25:
i am unimportant and a nobody. mr perfect seems to think the world should revolve around him for decades over and over and he abuses me and mum and to be honest someone needs to tell him the way he has his daughter is a god dam desgrace and he allowed a drunken raping pedophile into the home and he wanted to lick his ass when we were kids and he should be told off and not pandied to. he needs a good talking to. and I mean that sincerly. if my son was like I swear i would belt him. i don’t like violence but the way he has abused me and my mum and other family he needs to be told off.
Lifeline0574 at 19:51, May 25:
You are unimportant and a nobody? Is that the role you feel you play in your family?
fendi at 19:52, May 25:
my father goes around lying about me and other family I am sure of it cuz he always comes out the winner and he can’t step aside and except defeat politely and allow his kids ( a new generation ) a fair dikhem go in life. that is so unasutralian !
fendi at 19:54, May 25:
did you know eating up your kids life and abusing them and destorying love and career and success for them will make you fat and unhealthy? there is a tale about it somewhere. the parents who eat up the dreams and hopes and possibilities for their kids or others kids will suffer !
Lifeline0574 at 19:54, May 25:
I get the sense you often feel enraged by your father.
Lifeline0574 at 19:55, May 25:
It sounds like a tale you would like to be true.
Lifeline0574 at 19:55, May 25:
I think I can understand that.
fendi at 19:56, May 25:
disgusted. he drinks. he used to smoke made us all ill. thinks he so perfect, he even copied me when I was looking for a boyfriend and was dating this girl who was my age, how disgusting is that. what made him think he deserved the love I deserved he already had decades of sex and love? when does it stop for little jonny so we can all have a go?
Lifeline0574 at 19:58, May 25:
I sense that you have decades of hurt and anger to explore. Sometimes not having enough people to talk to about this hurt can become self-destructive. Are you having thoughts of suicide tonight?
fendi at 19:59, May 25:
he got me raped by a married man I didn’t even find nice or polite or respectful or even attractive. he got me bashed up several times and he went through my bedroom and school books and stole things and my diary and goals for a date and then got this date with a girl my age and bought her flowers and jewellery and then later he gave the necklace to me cuz she didn’t want it. what father does that. it shows he thinks i am second best, it shows disrespect to his wife and a ego out of control to copy a daughters desire to date and marry a man, but goes chasing a girl half his age its not normal. he needs a good spanking. his mother would have spanked him for that.
fendi at 20:00, May 25:
no i live with spite , i mean i live to spite the haters out there.
Lifeline0574 at 20:01, May 25:
Raped by a married man! :/
Lifeline0574 at 20:01, May 25:
That’s horrible.
Lifeline0574 at 20:01, May 25:
I don’t have words for that.
fendi at 20:01, May 25:
his guy says things like gay boy is loving seeing you be abused and this is my dads ex work mate. its none of his business what goes on in our home. they have ruined lives. one day they will pay for this’
Lifeline0574 at 20:01, May 25:
Sorry, I’ll let you continue typing
fendi at 20:02, May 25:
yeh, and molested by a pedo as a child. he will never get a chance to do it again to me
fendi at 20:02, May 25:
sometimes i worry he will rape me.
fendi at 20:03, May 25:
he used to come into my room at night while I was asleep. I don’t know if it was him. but i am sort of guessing. he will never get the chance ever again.
Lifeline0574 at 20:04, May 25:
I am glad to hear you say he’ll never get the chance again.
fendi at 20:05, May 25:
some people who do bad in this better be ready for gods revenge and punishment. because it will be coming. I am not perfect. I know I got angry at my dad and hit his face one night. just because this man was liking me my dad was jealous and he was saying “you have the hots for him don’t you slut” and I was a virgin and my mum said “well at her age of 27 I think its about time she ought to old man”
Lifeline0574 at 20:06, May 25:
If you are worried that he will rape you, and feel in immediate danger, I encourage you to call emergency services on 000
fendi at 20:06, May 25:
he writes to all these ex workers and people telling what he calls “his side of the story” why can’t we all do that? some police officer told me to stop asking for help. why can’t the police tell my dad to stop writing these letters and respect his family better? I and my mum do the best we can
fendi at 20:07, May 25:
yeh I know. but the police don’t want to understand and i was raped by another man and they barely helped me. my mum won’t see allow him to rape me and i will find a way to protect myself if need be
fendi at 20:08, May 25:
he must write 6 letters a day and i have no idea what is going on in his head. its not normal.
fendi at 20:09, May 25:
should a man, a father copy his daughter looking for a date?
fendi at 20:09, May 25:
is that normal?
Lifeline0574 at 20:09, May 25:
Good to hear you’ll find a way to protect yourself if needed. But it is concerning you feel you might need to do that. I’m sure you’ve thought of this already but because I’m talking to you for the first time I just wanted to ask…is leaving an option?
fendi at 20:10, May 25:
when i finish my education for work skills it might but i have pets here and if i had more money to buy a house i would move or a secure relationship.
Lifeline0574 at 20:14, May 25:
or you could rent a house or unit that allows pets perhaps?
fendi at 20:14, May 25:
the other man who raped me seems to think we have children together but I have never had a baby, never given birth and he seems to enjoy mentally abusing me. I really hope he doesn’t know my father, my father said he would like to kill him. so I have to believe that my father would protect me from this rapist again as i know my mum would as well. but my dad is weird. he wants power and glory and I do too.like enough to give me employment and home and good income and good work. nothing bad about that. but my dad has a crazy old man power game like he thinks he mr rumpoled or mr cuthbert in are you being served.
Lifeline0574 at 20:15, May 25:
Sounds like you’ve got a positive plan for the future.
Lifeline0574 at 20:15, May 25:
The other man sounds unwell.
fendi at 20:15, May 25:
maybe. i would prefer to own a house or unit outright and not have to answer to anyone. I think I deserve that after everything I have been through and also gone without.
Lifeline0574 at 20:15, May 25:
and one to stay away from and protect yourself from, too
fendi at 20:16, May 25:
i should have been owning my own house by now with my own husband and kids. don’t you think?
Lifeline0574 at 20:17, May 25:
Ah yes, I’ve seen Are You Being Served…I think I know what you mean. Thanks for helping me understand more.
fendi at 20:17, May 25:
unwell is not the word. he needs locking away in a criminal detention. you are being too kind. my doctor today says “that man who raped you is selfish and all about his aggression over you and a predator”
Lifeline0574 at 20:17, May 25:
From what you’ve told me you’ve gone through an awful lot and I think I can understand if you think you deserve that.
fendi at 20:17, May 25:
its like he is stuck back in 1960s
Lifeline0574 at 20:18, May 25:
I think people can own their own houses etc. at any age, particularly in the current economy.
Lifeline0574 at 20:18, May 25:
What state do you live in?
fendi at 20:18, May 25:
he wants to be young mr grace and i am supposed to be mrs slocomb and miss browns
fendi at 20:18, May 25:
qld
fendi at 20:19, May 25:
he wants my mum to be the old genator or some sex toy and he is this all powerful being and it is not going to happen. life is not like that anymore
Lifeline0574 at 20:21, May 25:
You seem to have a very clear idea of his view of you and him in regards to that show. And who is your mum in it?
Lifeline0574 at 20:21, May 25:
ah, sorry, I asked too soon.
Lifeline0574 at 20:21, May 25:
Thanks for helping me understand more.
Lifeline0574 at 20:22, May 25:
It sounds like you’re trying to make a very deliberate choice to break out of those roles
fendi at 20:22, May 25:
she feels as upset as me. she can see he is not acting normal.
fendi at 20:22, May 25:
he thinks he can copy his kids get work or dates when they do, its not normal
fendi at 20:23, May 25:
my mum can see he is strange like that. i think she feels embarrased like i do
fendi at 20:24, May 25:
i am not equal to him my needs are not the same or equal to his needs. we are not the same person. can you see his game. he did this to my sister and other sibliings as well.
fendi at 20:25, May 25:
just because I buy a milkshake doesn’t mean he has to buy one too.
fendi at 20:25, May 25:
he had sex heaps with my mum and they married. he should not be feeling the need to copy his daughter. its just weird.
Lifeline0574 at 20:26, May 25:
I can see you feel it’s not normal behaviour from your dad and it might well not be normal. Have you seen a GP about what you’ve been talking to me about?
fendi at 20:26, May 25:
its making me afraid to search for love or work or study. I have to keep everything secretive like I am dealing with a child.
fendi at 20:27, May 25:
no i don’t know to. I have never even told my therapist yet. I should however
Lifeline0574 at 20:27, May 25:
It sounds awful to have to feel like you need to be so secretive about your life.
Lifeline0574 at 20:27, May 25:
Yes, I encourage you to tell your therapist.
Lifeline0574 at 20:27, May 25:
When do you next see them?
fendi at 20:27, May 25:
its so embarrasing and strange behavior. what would make a grown man of 60 think he needs to copy his daughter in her 20s? looking for a date and man?
fendi at 20:28, May 25:
completely different sexual and emotional needs
fendi at 20:29, May 25:
my mum feels like she is inadequate and simple and i feel that way too , like we are not good enough to him.
fendi at 20:29, May 25:
he wants to be mr perfect sex Olympiad and life is not life that.
Lifeline0574 at 20:30, May 25:
I think I can understand how you feel. How old are you, may I ask? There may be a referral I can give you to help you talk further about these issues….in addition to Lifeline and your therapist. Lifeline aren’t too well placed to explore the sort of matters deeply that you have been raising. Although I am glad that you reached out to Lifeline tonight for support and encourage you to keep doing so.
fendi at 20:30, May 25:
what is in a soap opera or hollywood is not normal world. you can’t believe much of it so why copy a kid who just wants a date and a good time and find a sweet romance but instead i got raped by a fat married man ? its all so insane. my mum feels hurt as much as i do.
fendi at 20:31, May 25:
i am 30
Lifeline0574 at 20:31, May 25:
🙁 I’m so sorry you had that traumatic experience.
fendi at 20:31, May 25:
not very sexually experienced
Lifeline0574 at 20:31, May 25:
Have you talked to your therapist about it?
Lifeline0574 at 20:32, May 25:
Ok, thanks for letting me know your age. I’ll just have a look for a couple of referrals that you could also use as well as Lifeline. I’ll do that while you’re responding.
fendi at 20:32, May 25:
i will talk to them about it. i think it needs to be raised and maybe mum and i going and seeing his doctor. about it and his drinking. its hard to do but maybe it should be done
Lifeline0574 at 20:32, May 25:
Blue Knot Foundation Blue Knot Foundation is the leading national organisation working to improve the lives of Australian adults who have experienced childhood trauma and abuse.
fendi at 20:33, May 25:
mum and I agree and so do other family the behavior is not normal and its just to burst my bubble of looking for bliss and his jealous old man stuff
fendi at 20:33, May 25:
yeh. I will talk to them. i know bnot
Lifeline0574 at 20:33, May 25:
MindSpot Clinic The MindSpot Clinic is a free online and telephone service for adults with depression or anxiety. www.mindspot.org.au/
fendi at 20:33, May 25:
tell me so you think i am not crazy thinking this is not normal?
fendi at 20:33, May 25:
i just want to know I am not crazy
Lifeline0574 at 20:34, May 25:
Good to hear you’ll be talking to your therapist about it. It definitely needs to be raised when your ready.
fendi at 20:34, May 25:
mum and me think its not normal
fendi at 20:34, May 25:
he trying to baffle me and my sister and play games copy cat. he does other similar games as well. we don’t understand it
Lifeline0574 at 20:35, May 25:
Absolutely not. You sound like you’re a very sane person dealing with some very unusual and anxiety provoking behaviours from your dad.
fendi at 20:35, May 25:
who could understand it. he must feel so out of control of himself.
fendi at 20:36, May 25:
yeh, i will talk to my mum about us going to his doctor. if they don’t let us know stuff due to privacy we can still tell our side of the life with him and his health mental state unusal.
fendi at 20:37, May 25:
thanks for telling me that and being understanding. its upsetting and confusing.
fendi at 20:37, May 25:
i wil go and see what i can do. thanks for listening and helping.

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1 Comment

  1. murphysjobes

    sounds like you are dealing with crazy out of control people and no one is thinking of your needs and my guess is she does this to heaps of men.

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