I started a relationship with someone about a month ago. The last relationship I was in lasted 6 years. That relationship ended a year and half ago. So needless to say, starting this new relationship is a pretty big step for me and I’m learning a lot of new things. In my previous relationship I was faithful for all 6 years, so I have a lot of confidence in my ability to stay loyal. But…..I recently made a decision that has me feeling kind of…well…guilty. I slept in the same bed as a friend who is the opposite sex of me. There was no sexual tension, no spooning, we just slept side by side. I did put my head on his shoulder and we did hold hands. We’ve been friends for about 7 years. I’m the type of person who is pretty adamant about being able to socialize with whoever I want, male or female. My boyfriend and I are very open with each other about when we find someone of the opposite sex attractive. He is bisexual and we’ve discussed having threesomes if we ever found someone we were both attracted to and agreed upon it together. So I think that’s where I started to confuse myself….I think, in the back of my mind, I told myself that it was okay to platonically share a bed with someone else because of how open our relationship is. But the fact is, my instincts are telling me it was wrong. To make it worse, I lied about where I spent the night that night. So, obviously, I’m feeling guilty. It started out with me deciding to stop by the bar before I went home. I like the bartenders and regulars there, it’s just a comfortable place that I like to stop by sometimes before settling in at home. Eventually my friend, walks in and naturally we started chatting. I don’t see him very often anymore and he recently went through a breakup. So he was venting about that and I was relating what it felt like for me when I ended the 6 year relationship. I told him about how I was enjoying my new relationship and he was showing his support by saying he was happy for me and whatnot. Eventually I realized I had more drinks than I intended to and didn’t feel safe for the drive home. I felt comfortable enough to ask if I could crash on his couch. (he lives a couple blocks from the bar and I had done this many times over the years that we had been friends) Anyways we got to his place had 2 more beers, some more good conversation and when it came to settling down to sleep I set up blankets on the couch and laid down. His room is a basement, so everything is open and basically one large room. So I’m watching t.v. with him from the couch and he’s on his bed. Eventually he says that I can lay on the bed if I want and honestly I didn’t want to sleep alone so it sounded appealing but I really didn’t want any unexpected sexual tension so I said “well, that’s probably not a good idea. Even if we’re not being sexual, I don’t know how comfortable -insert boyfriend’s name- would be with that” and he replied “I wouldn’t try anything but I totally understand”. Eventually he turned off the t.v. and I laid there for a while stupidly contemplating it. Going through my head, telling myself that I feel no sexual urges and that it would be a totally innocent and friend type thing to do to share the bed; but also telling myself that if i’m hesitating then deep down I must know that it’s not the right thing to do. Well, after a little while I climbed into bed with him, held hands and fell asleep.(I was pretty drunk, so I fell asleep pretty quickly) He kept to his word and didn’t touch me sexually in any way. The next morning when I left I gave him a hug goodbye and nothing felt weird about it. My boyfriend texted me and asked how my night went because he knew I had stopped by the bar on the way home. My heart started hammering in my chest because I was trying to decide if I should just say exactly what I did or if I should leave out details or what…I replied something like “I should probably not go out to bars by myself anymore because I don’t think I trust myself to limit the amount of alcohol I have before driving” He asked how late I was out and that’s when I made it worse by lying. I said that I ended up crashing on someone’s couch and gave him the female name of a regular at the bar that I knew he didn’t know. Honestly, I was worried that he wouldn’t believe me that I was able to platonically sleep in the same bed with a male friend. He has some trust issues due to girlfriends cheating on him in the past and well…I don’t know how I’d feel if he told me that he slept in the same bed with one of his female friends. I had also been cheated on a few times in my previous relationship. The conversation moved on about how I should be more careful about drinking and so on. Now, not only did I do something that didn’t feel right but I lied about it. I feel kind of awful.