Okay okay so its just that
I had a drama performance thats worth just under half my grade and thats a complete piss bccc its a creative subject and the creative part isnt even the majority of the grade. So i always try to get top notch acting since its the only thing im really got at within the subject like i cannot describe how to act on paper for shit like fuck me.
Anyway this girl (A) i thought was my friend sat into our dress rehearsal and when she came out my other friend (D) and was like “it wasnt anything special” so D told me and throughout the whole thing i aas practically shitting myself eventho people said i did great i KNOW i couldve done better.
But yh ive been in such a foul mood bc of that
ALSO (different thing)
Okay i have this best friend (E) and about two years ago we both became really close to this other girl (H) and we all clicked like bffs instantly blah blah blah. Since E and H had loads of lessons together i was kinda pushed away and iM STILL GETTING PUSHED AWAY BC BOTH E AND H FOUND THIS NEW GIRL (L) FOR SOME REASON AND DUE TO MY REHEARSALS AND TRYING TO CATCH UP ON WORK AND SHITTY LIFE I HAVENT BEEN SEEING THEM AND MAYBE ITS JUST ME BEING A BIT MUCH BUT I CAN FEEL US JUST DRIFTING APART ITS LIKE THEYVE REPLACED ME AND IVE NOT GOT THE BACKUP I USED TO LIKE????? IM SO HEAVILY DEPENDENT ON MY FRIENDS BC THEY KNOW HOW TO JUST DEAL WITH ME WITHOUT NOT DEALING WITH ME (thats confusing dont focus on tht lil bit) BUT BASICALLY I REALLY NEED E BUT AT THE SAME TIME BC OF THIS IN MY HEAD IVE BECOME REALLY SOUR TOWARDS THE THREE OF THEM AND I HAVE TO LITERALLY PRETEND LIKE IM ENJOYING MYSELF AROUND THEM.
Im just lonely and sad and angry and ughsjdnjwjjs thx bye