a few years ago, i had a split class with this guy who is a year older than me, and we became really close. i really liked him and i managed to confess to him while he was at a different school because of his grade. he liked me back months after and it was sort of some “we both like each other but we’re friends” type of relationship and i don’t know why, but it just became really uncomfortable because there was a year of no talking to each other and the timing just really didn’t work out. i told him how i felt and our closeness faded away, but even after all this time, i can’t stop thinking about him. my heart gets all fuzzy whenever i’m near him and i just feel confused. i don’t know whether i just wasn’t ready or if i’m an actual idiot. we’re like strangers right now and it makes me miss him a lot. i want to try to talk to him but as a person who has terrible anxiety, it just doesn’t work out. i don’t know what he feels and i’m scared of his reaction. i don’t know if he still likes me or not, but i’m scared of hurting him/myself. i just really miss him, and right now i just want to regain our friendship, because i don’t even know if what i feel is actual love. i wanna be close again. (not edited bc lmao it’s a rant)