The place to rant

A place to let off some steam

I hate myself

I honestly hate myself i try to change but i always go back to being my stupid self.I am ugly i got bulled ever since 1st grade they would call me fat ugly useless and also my own family.My mother would even call me ugly and useless.I think its better that i just disappear,I tried to talk about it to my mom,brother,and sister but they all say i am crazy and its the truth that i am ugly and fat. My family only sees my mistakes and i always try to be good i get good grades i never get into trouble. Everyone hates me dispite me being quiet most of the time.My family only points out the wrongs i make and even on my birthday.On my birthday my dad was comparing me to this other girl in my family saying who was fatter in front of my face. I am not used to being consoled and i am pretty numb to it by now deining any thing good with replacing it with the negtive.I forgave my bullies but i still can’t forget what they said i wish no one harm either.Sometimes I just want to leave i have no reason to be here. I have anxiety but my mom thinks i am just crazy and it hurts me.I hate being around strangers. It gets so bad that i don’t even wanna go to school.I don’t like people because i feel like all they are doing is judging me looking at me looking at my fat thinking how discusting i am.I told every one but they all think i am crazy or it’s just me and it’s a phase.I think i might just give up why should a fat discusting piece of shit be on this earth I am so ugly dumb and should just die i deserve no love.I hate myself…..

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2 Comments

  1. Chains

    I hope you don’t kill yourself. You said you get good grades. Use your experience to make you great. For when you are able to leave your family and get your own place. That’s what I did. I planned since junior high school. I left and didn’t speak to my mother for ten years. I made sure I was able to take care of myself. Learn financial skills, so that you can make and save a lot of money. Family can be harsh. I bearly speak to anyone in my family cause we are not on the same level. Watch the movie or read the book named The Secret. Go to you tube and listen to the motivation videos. Get into activities that will keep you busy, sports or a church. You are probably just born in the wrong family. I hope you get through this chapter so that you can enjoy the next chapter of your life. Remember you can pick your friends and you can fire people who are not good for you.

  2. Chains

    I hope you don’t kill yourself. You said you get good grades. Use your experience to make you great. For us on when you are able to leave your family and get your own place. That’s what I did. I planned since junior high school. I left and didn’t speak to my mother for ten years. I made sure I was able to take care of myself. Learn financial skills. So that you can make a lot of money. Family can be harsh. I bearly speak to anyone in my family cause we are not on the same level. Watch the movie or read the book named The Secret. Go to you tube and listen to the motivation videos. Get into activities that will keep you busy, sports or a church. You are probably just born in the wrong family. I hope you get through this chapter so that you can enjoy the next chapter of your life.

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The place to rant