I honestly hate myself i try to change but i always go back to being my stupid self.I am ugly i got bulled ever since 1st grade they would call me fat ugly useless and also my own family.My mother would even call me ugly and useless.I think its better that i just disappear,I tried to talk about it to my mom,brother,and sister but they all say i am crazy and its the truth that i am ugly and fat. My family only sees my mistakes and i always try to be good i get good grades i never get into trouble. Everyone hates me dispite me being quiet most of the time.My family only points out the wrongs i make and even on my birthday.On my birthday my dad was comparing me to this other girl in my family saying who was fatter in front of my face. I am not used to being consoled and i am pretty numb to it by now deining any thing good with replacing it with the negtive.I forgave my bullies but i still can’t forget what they said i wish no one harm either.Sometimes I just want to leave i have no reason to be here. I have anxiety but my mom thinks i am just crazy and it hurts me.I hate being around strangers. It gets so bad that i don’t even wanna go to school.I don’t like people because i feel like all they are doing is judging me looking at me looking at my fat thinking how discusting i am.I told every one but they all think i am crazy or it’s just me and it’s a phase.I think i might just give up why should a fat discusting piece of shit be on this earth I am so ugly dumb and should just die i deserve no love.I hate myself…..