The place to rant

A place to let off some steam

I really can’t live life anymore.

I really feel like I can’t fully function anymore. Everyday that I wake up is painful. When I try to get on with my life, my thoughts are flooded with negativity and I can’t stop myself from crying every night and during the day too. I feel like I’m being mentally tortured and it’s not fair. I know that other people have it worse than me but I really can’t take this. When people talk to me, they are so full of energy but when it’s time for me to reply I can barely do so without feeling so lifeless, I have to “fake” laugh and “fake” smile. I really don’t mean to make others upset but I just do, my depression is turning me into a heartless monster. I feel so dumb and lazy as well. All I do is lay in bed to escape from reality but when I wake up, I feel so useless because I haven’t done anything productive. School is stressful and takes too much effort. People tease me, my grades aren’t as good as I would like them to be and my attendance is shit. School is so tiring. It’s a drag to even get out of bed in the mornings, it’s a drag to study, it’s a drag to talk to people, it’s a drag to talk, it’s a drag to walk, it’s a drag to exist. I just really don’t want to be here anymore. It hurts to be alive, my past still haunts me, I’m ugly and so much more is on my mind but it’s really complicated. I wish I would just die right now.

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I really can’t live life anymore.

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2 Comments

  1. liran

    The USPS management drags their feet every way possible when it comes to agreements with unions and the hundreds of thousands of employees who do all the work except scheduling hours and keeping track of time clock entries, for all intent and purposes. So naturally upper level management is trying to screw the former CCA”s because they are playing fast and loose with budget numbers and haven”t finished covering their criminal tracks. The other factor is that since they aren”t the benefactors, why be in a hurry to pay a bunch of low life labor personnel? And who knows how long this national grievance will drag out? Long as possible to avoid compensating the workers who are rightfully entitled to the back pay. And I wouldn”t hold my breath for extra compensation for the delay.

  2. Hershey Kiss

    Please please PLEASE dont EVER commit suicide, babe. I promise life IS worth living. for EVERYONE. I dont know who you are, I dont know your past, I dont know your name, age or even gender but hear me tell you that i do love and care about you. and that’s not a lie or a pity statement, promise. keep pushing through, bae. I wish I could meet you, just sit down with you. talk to you. but feel free to kneel down and (i dont want to sound like that loser who gives you a religious comment you dread but-) pray. I promise that God is real, he is your father in heaven. he loves you. pleasepleaseplease just try it once? Love.

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The place to rant