i want to die
i want to stop breathing because it doesnt even matter now
alll the shit ive been working so hard to prevent doesnt matter anymore. its futile now
theres nothing anymore except for my own insanity and depression to fully take over
and im already succumbing
i love my friends and i love my mom so much because even though they might not like me if they truly knew me theyve been close and weve been through everything together and it hurts when i lose them
because not only am i losing someone i loved
im losing someone i told everything to
im losing my secrets
im losing everything
im losing will to live
i dont wanna die though
can i talk about my crippling depression with you with subtle hints
let me be the one to sob. i’m eating an old baby bottle pop i found somewhere. i’m sitting in my bathroom on the floor worrying about my scoliosis
my grades and attendance
my friends
my responsibilites
i’ve been taught that all that comes first
that suicide is selfish because i have everything i want
because “things are good”
things aren’t good
i live in a shitty apartment with 3 other people and my kitty of 13 years died
i loved him so much
he made me happy
no one curled into my arm when i was sick except him
i wont kill myself
only because of my kitty Journey
how cold and lifeless he looked even though he was such a pretty, playful cat
i was in denial and i cried so hard