omg im gonna die what the heck did i just do i was having a chat with my sister about how her and my other siblings always made me feel unwanted and left me out and reminding her of everything she’ve done to me all the bullying and i got really emotional but i held back my emotions really good i think and after i was done she was responding me with a tone that’s like “oh poor child its ok ur just overthinking here *pats” she said that it’s all in the past and we were just kids and i let this happen to myself cause im the one who choses how to deal with my past and i just chosed to drown in my thoughts and made myself a ‘victim’ too much . basically she’s blaming me for all the mental things thats been happening to me . and that’s just absurd. that’s not what i wanted to hear at all so i cut her off saying i dont care what excuse u have to tell me i just wanted to let it out n let u know. and she kept going with the same tone pitying me and its just so absurd i couldn’t. its just so mean. i told her im going to sleep n left but she kept following me and trying to comfort me and i wanted to cry and i dont wanna show her my face crying and i wanted to be ALONE! but she didnt stop following omfg,. i told her to fuck off and leave me alone id ont wanna hear NOTHING. n she left. and i just feel stupid now cause i didn’t have to te;l her any shit i shouldve kept it to myself it’s not like anything would’ve changed. it’s not like i could go back to my old self like magic boom . ugh tomorrow is gonna be so awkward , meh i’ll just act like nothing happened . thanks for letting me rant that felt good 🙂