Introversion praise & Extroversion exclusion
Everything I read based on personality, identity and even advice online for how to deal with life gives so much feedback for introverts. How to self care. What to say when you need alone time. How to recharge after group activities. All I hear is praise for introverts: they’re smarter and more thoughtful and make better friends. As an extrovert who is STARVING for social interaction, dying in a world full of introverts: I am frankly getting ticked off that nobody views my feelings as valid or as important. If you do a quick search on Pinterest for “extrovert” do you know what you get? Results saying that extroverts are annoying and clingy: why can’t they handle being alone like any normal introvert? A book of guidelines for how to care for introverted people? Memes made by people online making fun of extroverts for “living in other people’s worlds” or “if they’re allowed to point out i’m being quiet I’m allowed to point out that they need to shut up more”. Do you know how many times I get cancelled on because someone isn’t feeling strong enough? Because people don’t want to be around me? Do you know how much that hurts? How many times I have compromised and done a low key evening? How many friends I have held myself back from talking to because I know they need space?
It feels like I’m dying. I get so anxious in groups now thinking people are just waiting until they can leave. I think people can sense the desperation coming off me in waves but I can’t turn it off.
Just read a bunch of articles about empathy and how introverts are more thoughtful sensitive caring and can feel the energy around them more. Not a word about extroverts. As an extrovert, can I not be a shoulder to cry on? Do you not think it pains me to see the people I care about and value over anything are going through struggles? Am I not empathetic when i get a literal high from being around a high energy group?
I’m tired of seeing discriminatory and labelling comments like that extroverts don’t think before they speak and making it seem as though all extroverts are the popular mean jocks and all introverts are the misunderstood smart and underestimated main character in every movie who is so superior to their peers because they like to read.
I like to read too! I was a freaking book worm and I’m currently eating through a few transcripts of debates (ya) and an agatha christie right now. I was a math nerd and I am quite often socially awkward. I get anxious, I have sad periods, I sometimes DONT want to go out but more often than not it makes my entire WEEK when somebody invites me along. On the other hand though: I am crushed when I feel excluded or unwanted. Completely reduced to nothing. But you never hear the struggles of the extrovert: because although the internet will make it seem as though introverts are the odd ones out, the wall flowers, the outcasts, the misunderstood and over pressured: they aren’t. It’s a swarm of introversion and there’s nothing wrong with that. They’re fine with being on their own. But I’m not. And to be in a sea of people who want to be alone and who don’t want you feels a lot like drowning.
I’m just so done… Because I’m an extrovert people assume you’ll bounce back after being rejected or neglected. Abandoned or ignored. You don’t, and I’m so close to giving up after being left so many times. Why bother..