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is this selfish of my boyfriend or am i overreacting?

So my boyfriend and I have been together for almost a year now. Our relationship is good (for anyone wondering). The thing is my boyfriend is graduating college in 2 weeks and wants to have as much “fun” as he can before he goes back home and starts working full time(which I understand). But slowly I realized his definition of fun, at the moment, seems to include his guy friends only because obviously, he won’t get to see his bros anymore after he graduates, but what he’s failing to see is that, he won’t see/spend time with me anymore either like before because I still have a year left of college, just like his friends!!!!! He seems to be more focused on his friends, and this bothered me a little but I figured it was because when we’re back home, we’re constantly together and going out so I kinda let him do whatever and have fun.

The problem kinda started from yesterday. I caught a really bad fever out of nowhere felt horrible. But just like every morning, I went to my morning class, came back to my room and my boyfriend is usually awake by then and we go get breakfast. So we make plans to go eat breakfast but soon after, one of his bros called him and immediately they made plans to go smoke at his house. Me and my boyfriend both smoke and that’s not what bothered me. It’s that he didn’t even bother asking me if he should go, or if I still wanted to eat, etc, all he said was “we’ll eat after your next class break” which was not until 2:15! I was a little upset that he was so quick to ditch or could have even told his friends that he can smoke after he we eat and I think he knew i was a little upset, so he used the “I’m not gonna see my friends after these 2 weeks, I told you I wanna have as much fun” excuse. but whatever, I let it go again since I was sick, in a lot of pain, and hungry, I didn’t want to argue nor did I have the energy.

Then today, I still wake up feeling ill but a little better because last night boyfriend actually got me medicine and other stuff to make me feel better. I know my body needed rest, so me and my boyfriend got breakfast and after that, I practically was in bed all day, while my boyfriend was in class. It was when he got back to the room when I woke up and the first thing he said to me was “I’m going out with my friends. they’re coming to pick me up soon.” I know all of his friends and we’re all good friends. I don’t have any trust issues, so please don’t mistake it for that. Anyways, on Fridays my boyfriend doesn’t have any classes, so usually Thursday night, we all hang out and chill. but because of my fever, I wanted to just stay in, so I asked my boyfriend what time he would be back. This was around 4pm and he told me he’ll be back around 8, which I was totally fine with and he even offered to bring me dinner and I was really happy. Soon after he left, I texted him what I wanted for dinner so he knew. By the time it’s about to be 10pm, my boyfriend is not back yet and doesn’t even text me or call me so I text him again asking him when he was coming home. A few minutes later, he texts me completely ignoring my previous texts and asking me how I am feeling and that he and his friends are gonna come pick me up to go to the bar. BY THIS TIME, I WAS KIND OF FURIOUS because when I’m sick, the last thing I wanna do is go to the bars and that should have been common sense for him. I texted him saying I’m not going to the bars and once I said that, I don’t get any texts from him again and it stays quiet for me. I felt very sad that I was sick, all alone, hungry once again (because my boyfriend took my wallet this time) and the person who i thought loved me was at the bars having “fun” with his friends because he made a “promise” with them, instead of spending time with me, because if the roles were switched, I definitely would have cancelled my plans to take care of him. An hour goes by and its 11 now and he was still not back yet nor had any plans because when i text him AGAIN, this time being petty and he knew I was pissed. So shortly after, he shows up in the room, and hands me my wallet, quickly said sorry this and that a couple times and then had the never to say “okay my friends are waiting for me downstairs so we can go back to the bars.” I stay quiet because im super pissed and he knew. We had an argument because I felt like what he did was selfish but my boyfriend told me that im the one being selfish because these are his last few days in college and that i had told him earlier that it was fine for him to hang out with his friends. But if i had not sent him that last petty text, i probably wouldn’t have heard from him until way later in the night anyways. He said he would be back around 8 with dinner and i even let it slide until 10, and he failed to do both. Even after we argued, and i told him how i felt, he still went to the bars and i was very sad.

Now the main question is..am i overreacting about this?????????

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2 Comments

  1. Anonymous

    You are most certainly not overreacting here. My boyfriend is always with his friends and it gets to me too sometimes. He’s fine when it’s just us but when he’s with his friends it’s like I’m not there. I’m sure your relationship’s fine other than this issue, like mine is. If he doesn’t listen to you and understand that what he’s doing is wrong, then perhaps show him this rant because then he’d most likely read it all (because I wouldn’t want to miss out any details if I was in his position) and it’s easier than trying to sum it all up in a few sentences without him trying to argue back. Honestly, if he has that little consideration for you then you can’t let it just slide.

  2. Anonymous

    He’s definetly in the wrong. Going out to the bars instead of taking care of you when youre sick, with your wallet? My god Tell him all of this. If he doesnt see anything wrong, hes not the right one for you. hope i helped

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The place to rant