The place to rant

A place to let off some steam

Losing my life

Honestly. I’ve suffered from depression for who knows how long at this stage, and only last year did I find an effective treatment for it. This is not the place to talk about kpop, but it’s relevant.

I found the happiest kpop group I’ve ever seen, and I’ve shed so many tears of gratitude towards them because they are the only reason I haven’t disappeared yet. I would die twenty times over for them. I love them so much.

But their company is having issues, and now they might be forced to disband. I cannot handle that. That’s almost the same as forcibly ripping my heart straight out of my chest when I’m alive and awake. I feel sick. I don’t think I can go on if they do this. They won’t ever have personal accounts and I won’t ever be able to say my thank yous. They mean more than the world to me. They never fail to make me smile, and I had a dream to make them smile for just once. How am I ever supposed to do that?

If they do happen to disband, which I personally doubt in all honesty, I want them to know how much I love them for bringing me out of my shell and making me cry tears of happiness instead of anger and sorrow like I did for so fucking long. I’ve never been this proud of anyone.

I love them so much one of my heart strings might just snap if they disband. That’s an actual problem you know. Sometimes when people go through a huge traumatic tragedy or heartbreak, one of their heart strings can break and cause death.

Seeing them go their own ways is like watching my friends slowly disappear behind a window that I cannot break. It hurts. My inspiration and happiness cannot leave. It’s all I have.

Previous

indecisive sister in law

Next

Incompetent Fellow Teachers

1 Comment

  1. Anonymous

    I love kpop too and I also suffer from depression as well due to my social anxieties and family problems. Kpop is the only thing that’s keeping me going through my days as well. It’s sad to hear about the soon to come disbandment, I hope that you can find some way to cope with it. I know it’s probably bad for me to tell you to find a new group to stan but it’s always worth the try, I found that staning so many different groups and soloists can give you a good look out on different types of kpop genres. I’m always open to new kpop groups and soloists because you’ll never know when you’ll come across amazing find. It sounds like you had bad friends in the past i’m assuming. I don’t have friends because all the people I meet and wanted to call friends didn’t seem to like me and were pretty fake. Being alone is hard and lonely but it can be nice once in a while because no one is there to hurt you. I hope that you get to meet good people along the way who will accept you. I still hope that I too will meet and make friends with good people.

Leave a Reply


The place to rant