Honestly. I’ve suffered from depression for who knows how long at this stage, and only last year did I find an effective treatment for it. This is not the place to talk about kpop, but it’s relevant.
I found the happiest kpop group I’ve ever seen, and I’ve shed so many tears of gratitude towards them because they are the only reason I haven’t disappeared yet. I would die twenty times over for them. I love them so much.
But their company is having issues, and now they might be forced to disband. I cannot handle that. That’s almost the same as forcibly ripping my heart straight out of my chest when I’m alive and awake. I feel sick. I don’t think I can go on if they do this. They won’t ever have personal accounts and I won’t ever be able to say my thank yous. They mean more than the world to me. They never fail to make me smile, and I had a dream to make them smile for just once. How am I ever supposed to do that?
If they do happen to disband, which I personally doubt in all honesty, I want them to know how much I love them for bringing me out of my shell and making me cry tears of happiness instead of anger and sorrow like I did for so fucking long. I’ve never been this proud of anyone.
I love them so much one of my heart strings might just snap if they disband. That’s an actual problem you know. Sometimes when people go through a huge traumatic tragedy or heartbreak, one of their heart strings can break and cause death.
Seeing them go their own ways is like watching my friends slowly disappear behind a window that I cannot break. It hurts. My inspiration and happiness cannot leave. It’s all I have.