Wow. It started in 6th grade. This guy, let’s call him Ethan. Ethan and I were great friends back then. Then one day he told me he liked the same girl as I. We ignored it. Long story short I got fucked over by him telling her that I had done some shit to her friends. Then. 7th grade comes around. I don’t really like him but he hangs out with my group. Through out the year I tell my other friends about my crushes (over a long period of time) and after every time I said I had a crush on some one he just went after them. It’s like he was punishing me for something. I had a tough year. But I got through it. Now eighth grade was a mess. A girl and I had a thing. I said I love you too soon. We basically stayed friends, I got friend zoned at the same time BECAUSE this Ethan guy just charmed her. We became great friends. Then she fell into his trap like all the other girls he had taken away from me. He would say that he loves them. Then break their heart a week to a month later. And that fucked with me to. I couldn’t take another one. Seeing my first and only love be heart broken over a fucking douchebag. I told her, as her best friends, don’t do this, you don’t know him like me. She ignored me and called me jelious. She got with him for a little while. She was completely blinded by the fact that he was a complete dick that no one liked. Then she was dumped. I felt so bad and couldn’t help because anything after that would be weird since she knew I had feelings for her. I waited too long. I tried again over and over. I’m in high school now. I see Ethan everyday. I have him in a few of my classes. And he just gets worse and worse of a guy. And everyday I see the girl I had once fallen in love with with her friends. I just don’t know what do do with my life anymore. It’s just, I wish I could tell her that I think she’s beautiful without it coming out weird. I don’t love her as I did in 8th grade because I know that people change. But she is the most gorgeous girl I’ve ever seen. I have no one to talk to. My other best friend left me alone by myself to go hang out with the wrong crowd and get into some things he’s not suppose to be doing. So I started hanging out with some other kids. But none that are my real friends. I have no one to talk to. I want to talk to her. I can’t. I can’t. I want to. But I can’t. Oh god why did this Ethan dude come to my life. I’ve only fell in love once. And had small crushes on about 10 girls in total till high school. And he’s messed up 7 of them including the girl of my dreams. I have no chance. What am I doing with my life.. oh god please give me hope