This is for the guys out there. You NEED to read this! This post may be long, but it will save many of you a LOT of trouble and heartache in the future. READ IT, and if you like it, SHARE IT! It’s time we as a society seriously acknowledged that there is a major, common underlying reason for the following problems:
– High divorce rates,
– sexless marriages,
– unstable relationships,
– game playing,
– “demanding” female behavior/seemingly impossible to please,
– misleading dating advice
I’m so tired of seeing guys getting played for fools, taken advantage of and cheated on, then being fed misinformation by society about WHY they constantly experience these things. The main point of this entire post is to show how the idea that women are somehow less visual and sexual than men is NOT entirely true, and how this cultural white lie is actually quite harmful to both genders. Believe me, I know how blashemous that is to our current cultural sensibilities. We see plain looking guys with women all the time, and we want to think that this somehow proves women are “less visual”. There’s more going on under the surface than meets the eye.
A woman’s threshold for physical attraction is MUCH HIGHER than a man’s, yet you always hear women claiming the exact opposite, and average looking men have no trouble finding long term mates. Sounds paradoxical, doesn’t it? It isn’t, and here’s why: We live in a society and culture that still supresses female sexuality, albeit in a very covert way, not overtly like in times past.
When it comes to attraction, women still face many undesired consequences if they speak openly about their real feelings or desires. Their silence only helps perpetuate the Big Lie that has been repeated so many times that many of us believe it. We believe this despite all the obvious evidence to the contrary – which we then try to explain away with overly-complicated theories and ideas about “how women work.” Then, we still continue to struggle with disappointing results when applying those ideas to our dating lives.
So, if looks are so important, why do so many plain looking guys still find relationships? It’s because most woman are under RELENTLESS pressure by society and circumstances to SETTLE for men they are _NOT_ genuinely sexually attracted to, IF they want to find a man who will stick around, raise the children, etc! This settling is then masked with such words as “being more mature” or “not shallow”.
The Big Lie about men’s looks is a holdover from past days, when practical relationships without sexual attraction were pretty much enforced. There are several reasons why this outdated falsehood still persists. Here is one of them: We collectively shame women for being honest about what they want. I don’t agree with this kind of thinking. A woman is NOT “immature” or a “shallow bitch” for wanting a physically attractive man. What she responds to, sexually, has NOTHING to do with her level of maturity, character or personal integrity!
Women are afraid to come forward about what they respond to, sexually, because that honesty might jeopardize their chances of finding a man who will marry them or raise their children. They claim to be “less visual” because average and plain looking men will not commit to a so-called “shallow” woman, and they KNOW this. Unless she is physically attractive enough to have a commited relationship with a man she is SEXUALLY attracted to, she has to chose between giving up her dreams of marriage and children forever, or settling for a man with whom sex will be little more than a duty and a chore.
This settling is then deceptively masqueraded as “maturity,” “attraction” and “love”! Here’s a valuable tip, guys: Your best candidates for a long term relationship are the “picky” and “shallow” women who hold out for a man who turns them on, NOT the settlers who claim “looks aren’t that important” and effictively prostitute themselves. We guys really need to see that! Just as many men are willing to have sex with women they are not attracted to, to get sex, many WOMEN are willing to have sex with MEN they are not truly attracted to, to have children and commitment.
Here’s another reason why the Big Lie persists: Often times, the men whom women are physically attracted to “only want sex” and not commitment, and many women value commitment more than love, so they settle. Eventually, after being repeatedly pumped ‘n’ dumped or cheated on by the men they want, those women who value marriage and children more than attraction settle for artificial relationships without genuine, reall attraction for the man. Their settling is masked with such words like “maturity”, “I’m not shallow like that”, “other things are more important”, etc.
Guys who know what REAL attraction from a woman is like, versus the more pragmatic so-called “attraction” average looking men typically experience, can easily see right through that BS. Most women are only “less visual” in practical ways, NOT sexual and emotional. Most men fail to understand this, and for our own good, it’s time we did.
Attraction CANNOT be “created” like many in the seduction community desperately want to believe. Many who claim success using those strategies falsely attribute their success to “game”, when in reality she was already attracted to him in the first place! Sexual attraction is either there or it isn’t. It really is THAT simple! “Game” is only the ability to navigate social logistics when a minimum level of physical attraction is already there. Game is NOT an attraction trigger!! But the for-profit “dating advice gurus” will never admit this, as their entire business is based on the false belief that women are less visual than men.
Getting a girlfriend, or getting laid is NOT some complex and esoteric “system”. Female attraction is NOT NEARLY as “complex” as so many men believe. You really only need average social skills and social aptitude, and any “game” you learn comes naturally from the social opportunities that are consistantly presented to you. If women are attracted to you, they provide those social opportunities for you and make themselves available to you. THEY do the work to get YOU! If you have to “work” for her attention, MOVE ON!!
Also, being nice to women is NOT “being beta”! Having a good heart is NOT a turnoff! This whole “jerks vs nice guys” thing is a a red herring that misses the boat entirely. What many guys fail to see is that a women will often TOLERATE a horrible personality because she is seuxually attated to him. Let’s put it this way: Bad behavior is tolerated in an attractive man. Good behavior is APPRECIATED in an attractive man. Being a jerk is NOT inherently attractive to women, but it IS incredibly effective in weeding out the settlers and opportunists! That is why “jerks’ are often with women who are REALLY into them. The more into you a girl is, the more she will TOLERATE to keep you!!
Here is the situation: Most men remain unaware of how visual women truly are, so we generally don’t put in the effort and time it takes to dramatically improve our outward appearances. They still get wives and girlfriends, but at least half of guys out there are being SETTLED FOR!! If you want something long term to last in today’s age of sexual freedom, women’s liberation and easy divorce, you HAVE to weed out the settlers!
Unless you know how to spot and weed out the settlers, you will be far more likely to get divorced. She’ll be FAR more likely to trap you in a sexless marriage. She will let herself go. She might even grow to resent you. Resentment is common in marriages, because most women have to settle for men they are “meh” about if they want commitment, and society expects them to PRETEND they are attracted to that man. That’s a hard situation for her to cope with. Society’s pressure on women to settle is a fundamental reason for so much “neurotic female behavior” and mind games.
Attraction that has to be “worked for” can never be legitimate, because attraction cannot be “created”, “earned” or “obtained”. SETTLERS expect you to “work”. A woman whose affection for you is genuine, DOES NOT. Attraction really is either there or it isn’t, and your looks ARE the primary limiting factor. Guys, the best thing you could ever do for yourself – AND your girlfriend or wife – is to maximize your looks to the absolute best of your ability, and by any means necessary. “Game” without sufficient looks is painfully inefficient. It’s WAY too time-consuming and takes WAY too much effort! With even half that time, effort and money, you could have a body you are proud of and women are legitimately turned on by.
Beauty is MADE, not something you are born with. MOST men can become legitimately attractive to MOST women if they simply put in the intense effort and dedication it takes to look good (working out, better diet, better grooming, better clothes, etc). If you want love, being average looking doesn’t cut it. If you just want companionship, there are plenty of people willing to SELL you an ILLUSION of “love,” then come up with lame excuses to explain away the lack of affection and lousy sex life.
If you want something long term, guys, it is imperative that you weed out the settlers. All a settler can typically offer you is insincere affections, a very artificial relationship, a load of demands to compensate for lack of attraction, a lousy, infrequent sex life, and a strong possibility of mutual resentment down the line. If she doesn’t find you hot in the same way her past lovers were, then she is NOT a good candidate for a relationship. Move on and forget her!
This isn’t the 1950’s anymore. Welcome to the age of sexual freedom and easy divorce, guys. Your looks DO matter! For something long term to last, she has to find you just as physically attractive as her past short-term partners. Learn how to spot the difference between a settler and a women who is legitimately attracted to you in a sexual and romantic way. That’s very important. Learn how to spot the difference!
NEVER try to “win” a woman’s heart or try to “earn” her affections. Someone who’s interest in you is sincere (not motivated primarily by more practical concerns) lets you play the game on “Easy Mode”. Her demands are minimal and basic. You aren’t constantly questioning where you stand with her. “Playing hard to get” is not nearly as common as guys want to believe. Believe me, women will move Hell and Earth to get what they want! If she makes no effort for you, than she isn’t worth YOUR effort, because her attraction simply isn’t there.
Work hard to improve your looks. As long as you have normal social skills and intuition, then you will see your dating life get astronimically easier. You’ll also have more friends (as people will make the effort to get to know you), and people will treat you MUCH better. Our looks DO matter, and our ignorance harms us. It SHOULDN’T be this way, but it IS. Women cannot help what they are and aren’t attracted to, and our collective attempts to fight against it have only served to worsen the problem for both parties involved.
If this post really spoke to you, please SHARE IT! The looks issue is REAL, and our collective denial causes VERY REAL problems. Men suffer for their ignorance, and women suffer for their silence. It’s time we actually acknowledged the elephant in the room – a man’s looks matter a LOT more than we are lead to believe!