I am fed up with the stupidest people that are roaming around like sheep and cattle these days. I’m trying to live the best life I can while caring for others and my family. I live next door to a lying bitch and in an area full to the brim with racist hillbillies who seem to have NOTHING better to do than try to look down their nose at me and my family. I realize that I’m in danger from the programmed, but I promised someone I’d be brave. But, sometimes I don’t think I can do it. I came to this place as a friend without ill will or anger towards anyone. I’ve been cussed out on the street, called a bi$%h, an f”$king spic, glared at for walking down the street and assaulted. Yet, the people here think they are different from the ‘supposed’ muslims who attack others. But, they aren’t, they are cut from the same clothing, the same thought. And yes, I pray God will judge them soon. Sometimes I think that I could face hell with peace, if it meant that those who have judged me and mine so harshly and have caused me countless tears were in a chair next to me.
I simply wanted to return home years ago and not stay in this damn country, the place I grew up is ten times better than this and the people are still human. I’m simply trying to hold my family together in the face of such unbelievably stupid situations and danger. All my offers of friendship and guidence have been thrown back in my face with mockery and hate. But, I forgot it must be because I MUST be a bad person.
I was told once that sometimes I would have to face dangers alone, I guess that guy was right. So yeah, people kind of suck. I don’t know how to get my husband to understand what living here is doing to me. So, I try not to burden him with it. But, sometimes I feel really alone. If I didn’t understand just what’s happening in the world, I’d be more afraid.
I’m only hoping to have the courage to endure all of it. Because I’ve seen things my enemies will never understand and been places they can’t even dream off. So, I understand the point of all this. Knowing doesn’t make it any easier when the odd are so damn great.