The place to rant

A place to let off some steam

please talk to me

lately i’ve been thinking of dying and the only thing that kept me from dying is the fact that i am still looking for ways for me to die. My life is not particularly sucks. I am a model student, and the best in my batch. I have everything I need. I don’t have any reason to die and yet i am thinking of dying all the time. It is so painful that I let off the steam by hurting myself repeatedly. I don’t have anyone to talk to and I am afraid of telling anyone about this. I don’t want to be judged. And after all, I don’t have friends that I am close enough with to share these kind of things. I just want to end my life. I can’t go on. Each day I have to drag myself up and fake my smiles and pretend that I am happy but I am not. I am in pain. I am in so much pain.

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2 Comments

  1. Nj

    To the writer of this, please take a moment and think about things. I’ve dealt with my best friend and other close friends having suicidal thoughts, and let me tell you when I found out my heart dropped. I couldn’t imagine my life without them and just thinking of the possibility of them actually doing it made me so scared and possessive of them. I’m telling you now, I’ve never had suicidal thoughts before, I don’t know what it’s like but if you feel like no one will miss you I promise you someone will. As the other person replied depression and suicidal thoughts are not necessarily related to how your life is, it’s just a sickness that affects a lot of people. But the best part about living today is that there are so many ways for you to get help. You can call/text a lifeline, talk to a counselor if you’re in school, go to a focus group, see a psychiatrist/therapist, and if your thoughts continue after that you could even receive antidepressants or other forms of medication to help. There’s so much to life, we’re only here once, free to do whatever you want. I know I don’t know you irl but I will say that I know how hard it is to talk about something as big as this that is so personal to you and how it feels when you think you don’t have anyone to go to, and I am so proud of you for stepping up and attempting to get help and admitting that you need help. I know you’ll get the help you need one day, stay strong, things always get better.

  2. Anonymous

    I am so sorry to hear that. It sounds like depression to me (though it may not be). Some of my close friends and families have depression and it is really more common than one would think. It doe not necessarily have anything to do with how your life goes. It is like a flu of mind, and if left untreated can develop into something worse. If possible talk to a therapist; or there are also lines you can call when having suicidal thoughts (such as National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, also local ones). They will talk with you although it may or may not make a difference, but it does not hurt to try. I was close to call one when I was in a really bad situation and pregnant. I am glad I pulled through. I hope you can pull through. I really do.

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The place to rant