lately i’ve been thinking of dying and the only thing that kept me from dying is the fact that i am still looking for ways for me to die. My life is not particularly sucks. I am a model student, and the best in my batch. I have everything I need. I don’t have any reason to die and yet i am thinking of dying all the time. It is so painful that I let off the steam by hurting myself repeatedly. I don’t have anyone to talk to and I am afraid of telling anyone about this. I don’t want to be judged. And after all, I don’t have friends that I am close enough with to share these kind of things. I just want to end my life. I can’t go on. Each day I have to drag myself up and fake my smiles and pretend that I am happy but I am not. I am in pain. I am in so much pain.