I never really got over this girl I talked to back in high school who I met at some church camp. I was a total idiot back then and knew absolutely nothing about talking to girls. NOTHING. Long story short I was an idiot and there was quite a bit of miscommunication between us. I told her how i felt about her, but she literally didn’t day anything. She just expected me to read her mind. Drama ensued in some dumbass ways following that. That was when I was a junior and she was a freshman. Hell, the last day we talked we agreed to just be friends and left off on s good note. That was at the last church camp I went to with her, because I just graduated a month prior to it ans it was a high school camp. Over the past few years, there hasn’t been one day that I haven’t thought about her, and how I wish I knew better back then. It makes me think that I will never find the woman of my dreams because i just cannot get over her. We were young and dumb but I turned out to be serious about her. She was serious at first, she told me, but like I said I couldn’t read her mind. I miss her personality, her awkwardness at times, her silliness, her laugh. Fuck, I’m 20 and she’s 18. I’m 20 Fucking years old and I can’t get over someone I knew back in high school. I truly thought she was the one, I guess. Every day I go out, I hope for a few things: she’ll want to know me again or I’ll find someone who will absolutely change my world. I doubt either will really happen though. Lately I’ve been frequently thinking about my future, and how lonely I’ll be if I don’t find the love of my life, and if I’m really going after my dream career (I’m in college but sometimes I don’t think I’m truly following my calling in life). And sometimes I think about wether or not it’s worth living if I’ll be alone and unhappy the whole time.