I was with someone for 6 years and broke up with him almost 2 years ago due to his issues with alcoholism, cheating and other problems. I am glad that the relationship is over. I started a new relationship in March. Little by little, I am noticing different ways I was affected by my previous relationship. It’s pretty easy to make the connections as to why I exhibit certain behaviors. I find myself asking my partner to do small things for me. Call me sometimes to literally just to say “goodnight” before I fall asleep. Meet up with me after work once in a while just for a hug. Asking him “How much do you love me? I just like to hear it…” I’m satisfied with the most simple answers like “A whole lot” or “Very much” I try to let him know that it’s just little things that mean a lot to me and that I’m not at all trying to smother or pressure him. It just makes me take a deep sigh of relief whenever he completes these small tasks for me. I know part of it is my OCD, anxiety and depression. It’s like a quick fix. In my last relationship, for years I spent so many nights worrying about why he didn’t come home when he said he would(he’d always just be out drinking and would come home at the crack of dawn still intoxicated) So I’d have to go to sleep countless nights wondering if he was in a drunk driving accident, dead or sitting in a hospital room, or if he was sitting in a jail cell for having drugs on him or laying in some other woman’s bed(he’d cheated on me 3 times). Having someone say “goodnight” to me just feels so nice and being reminded that someones’ thinking of me is comforting too. When my current partner randomly texts me throughout the day while he’s at work or anywhere, I just feel so grateful because my ex never did that. Even when my S.O. shows a little bit of jealousy, I can’t help but feel loved. My ex never cared about who I was hanging out with when he wasn’t with me. I’m working on learning from my previous relationship and I can tell that current partner has some issues he’s working on too. It’s nice that we can be open with each other about our downfalls and how they may be connected to our exes and/or anxiety.