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Relationships

What makes it okay for a girl to think you can be friends after a break up? Seriously, it’s a lot more painful for the guy, especially when you know what buttons to press. Saying things like, “I don’t want to lose you” or “I just don’t want you to think we’d ever get back together” are terrible ways to express how you truly feel. My most recent breakup involved a girl a that I care about deeply still. She was unhappy in the relationship according to her, yet the reason she was unhappy was negated because I came to visit her. So, she never told me to my face what the issue was. She decided after 2 years of dating that she’d break up with me over spring break, while we were in Florida together with 3 days remaining. It was painful, we got into fights and me being a guy, wanted to know why and all she had to say for herself was, that she felt it was the right thing for her. I grew to accept that.. but then a week goes by and we start talking out of her request and because of this we get into it again. It’s been almost 2 months.. we’ve hung out three times, she says she feels uncomfortable around me, but I know the real reasoning is that she’s basically argued herself into a corner. I’ve wanted to get back with her, but I’m slowly losing that desire and I don’t want to… I don’t hate her.. I hate that I’ve got these feelings for her.. I just want her to understand and accept them. So.. tear me apart, ask me questions.. whatever you feel is appropriate..

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3 Comments

  1. Irish

    Kudos to you! I hadn’t thouhgt of that!

  2. Anonymous

    Dude, the same thing happened with me.
    She told me that she did not want to lose me after breaking up with me a week before that.
    Two weeks pass by and she suddenly disappears again. No phone calls, no texts. She was not receiving my calls too. I could see her online but she just wouldn’t respond and that too after she tried to make a comeback into my life. She started behaving strangely in front of me. She just wouldn’t talk to me. She gave me the coldest shoulder possible but I just wanted to hang on as I still had feelings for her and had a hope that somehow everything might get well again. I was so wrong.

    I lost it when I saw her flirting with a guy, whom she had always called as a friend, that too, in front of me. I just stormed past them.
    A week later I asked for explanations. But alas, she insulted me like I was the shittiest man on the planet. I did not utter a word back. I felt bad and cried like shit for the rest of the week. The booze kind of pacified me but I would wake up four to five times each night thinking about her and crying again. Things became so bad, that I had to meet a doctor.
    But then, I decided that was it. I could not take it any more.
    I deleted all her contacts, blocked her everywhere and basically tried my best to convince myself that she never existed in my life.
    I am happy that I did that. I am good now and have a great bunch of friends.
    I still think about her sometimes but it was good both for her and me that we moved apart. It could have ruined two lives. But I think we are both happy at our places.
    And trust me, the amount of love that you bestow on your partner has nothing to do with what you deserve.
    You deserve better mate, and I am sure you will find a great lady some time soon in the future.
    Cheers.

  3. valsy

    Move on pal, regardless of what she’s saying, she’s dangling a carrot, for want of a better description. You don’t need to be friends, and you don’t need to put yourself in a position where your upset all the time because you still care. Its inevitable that she will start seeing someone else, and you’ll just feel like a dick. Get out there and enjoy yourself! Turn the page and make yourself happy!

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