there are some things i wish i could change in my life. I wish my dad never got abused or went to war. i wish i wasn’t so fucked up. everything would be better if i could change some things. but i cant. so i just have to deal with shit. i can’t change how things happened and complaining about them wont fix them either. i have to do better in school. i have to gain my parents trust back. i have to be good to myself. i have to do better. i cant keep sitting around and crying about shit that’s out of my control. i need to focus on what i can control. like my grades. like my diet. like my exercise. like my relationship. i have to stop trying to fix people and things that i cant. i need to mind my own business and do my own shit. i have to be more responsible in my house. i have to be respectful to others. i cant get anywhere in life being a lazy, high school drop out who got kicked out and is on the street doing drugs. i need to stop. i need to change. but then again i always say that people can only change for the worse, and not for the better.