Lately, I’ve been suffering from a severe lack of motivation. I know that I need to be find my motivation but I just can’t. I feel like I’ve been stuck at the same point in my life for the past 2 years simply because I’m unable to move on from the horrendous results I received then. I keep thinking about how my my future will be affected as I’m at the age where things start to get real. Sadly, I’m growing up.

As much as I don’t want that to happen, it’s something that just cannot be avoided. Coming from a relatively comfortable background, I’ve never had much to worry about. Everything I needed was provided but I guess it’s because of this that I developed a reliance. It is also the main reason why I worry about my future. Would I be able to get a job that can provide for everything? Would I be able to live up to the expectations of others? Sure, it’s easy to say that one shouldn’t concern himself with the opinions of others as it has no bearing on them yet it is something I can’t quite free myself from. How I would be perceived has always been one of the shackles holding me back. Isn’t it ironic how I’m so concerned by others yet I refuse to put in the effort to perform? Pardon me, somewhere through this rant I’ve lost my focus and have drifted but if you’ve stayed and read to the very end, thank you.