The place to rant

A place to let off some steam

Terrible, lazy, pompous and awfully smug colleague I have to suffer each day

I just can’t stand this guy I sit opposite at work, he used to report to me but thank god I hired a deputy who he now reports to. He’s lazy, he tuned out of his job about 2 years ago, but gets paid pretty well and so hangs around doing very little. The most annoying thing is that he’s talented, he could be one of the most influential people here, but all he does is tick over. I spent nearly two years trying to get him to kick into gear, and now I have to hold his hand through every project I give him otherwise the results are just awful. His general attitude in meetings is incredibly immature and pompous.

Its got so far that I just resent his actual being now, all I can hear is this stunted weird half laugh/choke/grunt that he does when he’s got something funny to say in online chat rooms, probably about Pokemon or some equally wank topic, in their little pissing chat and he’s so fucking proud of. Just waiting for the pockets of laughter across the office, thats the recognition of a good funny, and then comes his whimpery high pitched whine-bark of smugness to follow.

And he’s ‘ill’ all of the time, always with the fucking tissues and Lemsip and moaning, and blocked nose. Sometimes because the office is quiet I can hear him slowly forcing his breath through his gacky nose, its disgusting and vile and makes me want to shower.

I would never do it because I don’t condone violence, but I dream about punching him in the face each and every day.

I just hope that I get to fire or make him redundant one day before I go, it would taste so sweet to wield the proverbial axe above his head and see the fear and realisation in his eyes. That would be my most enjoyable achievement here.

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1 Comment

  1. Roger

    Gacky nose?,,,,Hahahaha. I nearly fell off my chair when I read that. Sounds like he’s the “Underachiever from the Furthest Backroom of Hell”,,,It could be worse I suppose. What if he was one of those gross dudes that snarkle and nose slurp his greasy snot up his nose and swallows it? That might send you completely off the edge..!! Obviously, he was in a “slob” fraternity house at college. And Rodney Dangerfield is probably his idol. I don’t envy you having to work with him. Maybe you could,,as a supreme “acting” challenge to yourself work up an alternative persona for yourself. Yeah,,,Like in your free moments think out what would be some subtle traits you could irritate him with. Start off with little things, make it into your greatest opus,,hahaha. Then work up to some things that get him edgy,,,maybe something medical oriented. Swipe some of his tissues sohe runs out at unexpected times,,Hahaha. Get creative, but don’t tip your hand to him. He must not suspect it’s you..!! This is a months long project, so you want to get all the entertainment value you can..lol. The Coup-De-Grace has to be a classic that you can take to your grave with you with a smile. I hope I’ve given you some inspiration. Some of us guys can be delightfully devilish, too..!! Good luck and take it slow for maximum pleasure.

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The place to rant