We became friends 8 months ago and started a relationship 1 month ago. You work over 50 hours a week and we see each other about 4-5 days a week usually just for a few hours when you get off work and then we go our separate ways. On Fridays and Saturdays we spend the night together. I like our routine. I like that we don’t spend too much time together because it just makes your company even more enjoyable when I do see you. The thing is…..I have a hard time understanding how you have respect for the way I live my life. I’ve alway been the type of person who over-thinks everything….the type of person who has a really hard time seeing their own worth. I’ve been on disability for generalized anxiety disorder and manic depressive disorder for 8 years. I’ve had jobs on and off. I took a couple college courses but haven’t found steady work in the field. So far in the time that we’ve known each other, you’ll inquire about my day (how I’m feeling, what I did) but you don’t seem to dig too deep when I just give you mundane minor details like “I’ve been feeling low but I’m doing okay” or “I did laundry” or “I met with my caseworker”. I keep expecting you to start getting more curious and demand to know more about my daily routine. I think I keep expecting that any minute now you’ll to start looking down on me. That you’ll just start seeing me as a time filler and eventually get bored with me. My thoughts spiral with the words “Loser, trashball, lazy, worthless…” I get scared that all the sudden I’m going to discover this side of you that will negatively throw the words “welfare, unemployed, get-a-job, you’re-not-trying-hard-enough, etc.” at me. That you’ll stop saying “good for you”, “I’m happy for you”, “You got this” etc….. I’m always scared that I’m not good enough. And I’m wondering when you’ll catch on to that.