The place to rant

A place to let off some steam

tired

You don’t know what it feels like to be tired, not the tired where you went to bed too late and had to wake up early. I mean TIRED. For the past 217 night(and I’m not exaggerating) I have been crying, every.single.fucking.night. I have nothing to live for anymore. Everyone around me always makes promises and I get my hopes up so much, I get so fucking happy and then they cancel it or just fuck me over. And it’s the little things that hurt the most. The little things that means so much in life. The only friend I have I’m losing because I can’t afford to go out with her, and we can’t do anything else because you fucking need money to do anything and it fuckimg sucks. Money is such a stupid thing, it’s a fucking piece of papers that ruins millions of lives. Fucking paper. I hate everything I hate everything so fucking much. I just want it to end, you don’t know how fucking stressed I am. I’m 16 with gray hair.. who the fuck has gray hair when they’re 16??? Don’t even get me started on my sleep
Paralysis. For anyone who doesn’t believe in demons Or ghost, ya’ll are stupid as fuck. If you knew the shit I be seeing.. you’ll probably throw a bible at me.
It sucks; it sucks so fucking much. My life is shit, my sleep is shit, and these fucking demons wanna haunt me. Like I don’t got enough stupid bullshit to deal with. I just want to die, but im so scared. If I wasn’t so afraid I would just jump in front of a train. Maybe I will, and you know I believe that’s okay, maybe you don’t and whoever reads this will try to stop me or think it’s wrong to kill yourself. But in my opinion we’re all dying anyways and tbh I honestly don’t have anything to live foR, I thought I did. I even tried to make a list but nothing came up. I don’t want a husband, kids, I don’t want to go to college, I dislike my entire family and they dislike me too, I suck at making friends because people just hate me and the only friend I have I’m losing because I can’t afford to just go out to eat. I just..

Goodbye.

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1 Comment

  1. Renee

    I know you don’t know me, you can’t see me, but i fucking love you so much. I know you feel trapped and alone right now but trust me when I tell you that you can’t only go up from rock bottom. Maybe that friend is toxic if you need money to hold your relationship together. Do whatever you can to treat yourself. I’m praying for you, fellow 16 year old.

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The place to rant