The place to rant

A place to let off some steam

To Marry or Not?

So I’ve been with my boyfriend for 3 years 4 months, and now we’re having the marriage talks.
The thing is he is so sure he wants to marry me, but I on the other hand have some doubts, and the fact that I have doubts surely means i shouldn’t marry him right?

But its been 3 years and I do love him, and he’s my only friend but sometimes I feel like I dont like him and I am paranoid and jealous. But I have reason to be.

Back when we first got together, the day before our first date he told me he had to go see his crazy ex gf who wouldn’t leave him alone to tell her it was over. He told me he told her to leave him alone- but that was lie no1. He actually got back with her.
During the first week he was still talking and texting her whilst seeing me almost everyday.
He then broke up with me a week into it, and told me he still loved her.
He then came back to me and told me he made a mistake but I found out later what made him come back- she had cheated on him during their relationship so he didn’t trust her.
I know I’m stupid why did I take him back, I dont actually know and as I write this now I wish I could go back but I can’t.
He continued talking to her on secret apps and even met up with her once we got back together. Again I forgave him but I dont think I’ve ever really trusted him the same. He does everything for me, theres not been anything he’s not done for me so I do think he loves me and i do think i love him also but i still have my doubts.

He’s told his mum about wanting to marry me, and now its my turn to tell my parents but somethings holding me back. We’ve had a bumpy 3 years and i’ve been really emotional and down during a lot of it, and we’ve gotten to a stage where we can argue now and neither of us even care about how the other feels.

i just dont know if i should marry this guy or if I’m scared i’ll never find someone else so I’m just settling.

what do i do?

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1 Comment

  1. Anonymous

    I’d say the fact that you’re both fairly apathetic about how the other feels and that you’re hesitant at best to tell your parents says it all. He’s proven himself to not be trustworthy in the past and it seems like marriage is only being discussed because if how long the two of you have been together.

    It’s tough as hell starting over after a long-term relationship but from what I’ve heard from divorced friends starting over after a divorce (which that’s what would happen sooner or later if you marry this guy) is even tougher (plus divorce is expensive!). Life is too short to settle for someone you feel lukewarm at most about and that you can’t trust. Good luck.

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The place to rant