I broke up with my girlfriend recently, and I thought it was what I wanted. She does have a few issues-anxiety, depression. I broke up with her because she was starting to become overly attached. I told her that I needed more time to focus on things I want to accomplish, but she got immature about it. There was instance where I wanted to see her for a few hours on a Saturday, and she got mad and upset and told me to forget about it because I wasn’t spending the whole day with her. I thought I made the right choice, but I’m not so sure anymore. I love her to death, I really do, but sometimes I wonder if we’re really meant to work out. My parents, siblings, and friends cant stand her and have constantly told me I can do better. I know she has depression, and is socially awkward, and things aren’t always the easiest. But she’s not a terrible person. If I did go back to her, I’d have to explain to my family why, and of course they’d all be disappointed and then everyone would think I’m a helpless idiot who can’t see “the truth.”
Then, there are my own reservations. I realized quickly after I broke up with her how much confidence she gave me. I felt amazing knowing I had her. She’s the one I could run to anytime I wanted to break into a million pieces, or was stressed, or anxious. She would soothe me and calm me down. And she was adorable. I could completely be myself around her and have fun in any moment we were in. But our interests clashed a bit. She hated the beach, and I couldn’t get enough of it. I want to do amazing things in this lifetime, and she couldn’t care too much about where she ends up and has no idea what she wants to do. I wanted to keep moving and do things, and all she’d want to do is sleep and watch TV. I was vocal some of the time, but most of the time I kept quiet and tried to find a common ground- some activity we could agree on. I often wonder if this stuff even matters in the long run. It scares me to think that it might.
I also realize I’m curious about dating new people. I see other girls all the time, and wonder who they are and what they’re like. I wouldn’t mind finding someone whose interests and passions closely match up with mine. But that’s hard when you’re at a low point, and don’t have a whole lot of confidence in yourself.
I guess I just don’t know which way to turn.