I’ve been hiding in the shadows of my past ever since it cast one. I can’t seem to move on. I don’t even know where to start. I’ve been blinded by my own fear, grief, guilt, and anger. I’ve been betrayed by my closest friends. Life and I have never gotten along. I seem to have not fought a fight that needed to be battled out, and I can’t remember what it was. I was a rebel without a clue. Now i’m just clueless. What do I do? Do I keep running? Do I take a stand? If I stand and fight then to what end? What am I fighting for? Is it worth the cost? Am I?
All these questions have become a daily occurrence in my mind. I can’t seem to make any headway in answering them. There are days when I think I’ve answered one or two, but by the next day they puzzle me once again. I don’t know who the “enemy” is or if I even have the weapons to fight it. It’s like going into night-combat without goggles and not knowing who’s shooting at you or from where, or even if you have a team and if so how many are on your side.
Why can’t I wrap my head around this?